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Crossdressing Support Groups PDF Print E-mail
Written by Steven Arness   
Saturday, 25 March 2006

Ok, I'm going to repost something I sent to a crossdressing support group, I took out any references and such as I just didn't feel like retyping all my thoughts as there pretty good as is in my opinion.

Something else I want to say is that out of the couple crossdressing groups I visited, my choices in clothing would be more restricted in attending the meeting then if I was on the other side of the meeting door. In fact many of the groups say I have to play the part of the clothing that I am wearing, that is, if I'm wearing a skirt I have to wear a wig and get breasts and some even insist on a female name, no thanks I said.

-----------------------

I understand the reasoning to change ones name to reflect who you are on the inside, it just doesn't work for me, and maybe others, that they need to change their name if they wear clothes from the other side of the aisle. Many males are severely oppressed in their choices of clothing, I don't think that any male that wants to wear something other then trousers has to portray themselves as a female and pick a female name when they do so.

Clothing for me does not have a sex, it's the rest of the package that defines as to wether one should fit into being a male or female. But even that does not work for me as I do not associate someone with long hair, answering the phone, nurse, housekeeper, etc as having to be a female person. Nor do I think someone who works on cars, does construction, owns a company, etc as having to be a male person. I do not see one sex as only being able to do certain things (well, ok, you got me on the reproductive part but thats nature) while the other sex is not. Many such restrictions are a societal  thing such as the clothing one wears. And don't take this the wrong way, but I think males are oppressed to the point that often their only escape is to escape completely and become something else. And the only reason they have to is because we as a society condemn males who appear soft and thus force them to express it in other acceptable and alternative ways.

Don't get me wrong, I think there are many males we are born in the wrong body just as there are females who are born in the wrong body, with life being as complicated as it is, such a thing is not beyond happening. But we as a society continually dictate as to who can do what, and males in my opinion are overly oppressed in being able to express themselves in non masculine ways while females have much greater freedom to do so. We as a society continually reinforce that only males are allowed to do that and only females are allowed to do this, I find the whole thing a bunch of rubbish. But that's how we as a society do such things and while it is usually ok for a female to take on traditional male roles and demeanors, it is not ok for a males to take on traditional female roles and demeanors. Females who cross the line can be called "inspiring", "tomboys", "leaders", and even "macho" while males who cross the line are "sissies", "faggots" and/or "perverted"

In my opinion, the majority of problems with males, and why they do some of the horrific things they do, is that society has so thinly defined the male persona, that they are severely restricted in the ability to express themselves in non aggressive methods.
(modern) Females are allowed much more latitude in doing almost anything they want without such restrictions, it's illegal to deny a female a mechanics job (it's still done, but there are laws on the books) Females can also express themselves through their outside appearance more freely then males (just look at the Emmy or Oscar awards) While some people may oppress females and/or try to hold them to traditional standards, most suffer little repercussion if they disobey.

Hence in my opinion as to why there are so many males out there that express themselves as females as doing so lets them do things that society can accept.

Hence why I do not call myself a crossdresser either, what I am wearing is my clothes, they may be styled after, and may look, exactly like typical female clothing, but I am wearing them and they are my clothes. As someone once told me, "If I wanted to crossdress as a female, I'd wear pants"

Comments (7) add feed
Why
written by Guest on July 27, 2006

Why I like to wear tops, skirts, nylons, shaven legs, heel etc, etc, I don't know. I do have long hair for a male,and double pieced earrings. And they say this is not normal. So they say to me. And I have a high I.Q. too? When I was much, much younger. When I was in high school. I had the short hair style, wore shirts, pants much like all kids of the day. But I could never tell poeple of my distaste of my choice clothes I had to wear. Many a times I was looking had the highschool girls. In part I was a teenager at the time too. In part I was look at their outfits. Was hoping that I could wear the tops, skirts, nylons, and the shoes too. I thought it would be fun to wear also.
In those times you don't tell people about that. Not unless you wanted to be put away for long,long time.
It's strange I still do want to wear today. But that is not the major point. I crossdresser too. And I do like it, but. And here's the but part of it. Like I have worry about being discoved and so one could use it again me when ever they want too. Female crossdress all the time. Manybe more than the male do. Cause society today is so liner-minded. But if a male wants to wear the skirts.etc, etc, in public. He's would possable be charged with a crime he possable did not do? Are we still that backward.If your sister borrow some your clothes, and you told mom and dad. What the chances she would be see a doctor. But what would happen you would want to wear that red mini-skirt, matching top and red heels or boots. Or wear her some of her makeup, or earrings or jewelry. One or two things, major major problems or he is going to see a doctor. And most doctors do not wants to understand and why or believe it's normal for him to dress up. For her yes. Untill I see about maybe one or two out of ten wearing skirts or kilts in public. I can't not believe the sociaty today is an differnt that 30 or 40 years ago.


...
written by a guest on December 4, 2006

YA I like girls underpants and for men that think they will get mocked for it just cover it with breifs so in layers you have:
skin
ladies panties
boxers
pants
that way no one can see the ladies underwear. and just be yourself. images/wink.gif images/grin.gif

Thanks for your lovely site, it's so empowering!!
written by a guest on February 10, 2007

I wear skirts as much as possible during the working day. Sadly, it hasnt gone down well with friends and family. Twice I have been attacked at work, and on the street, someone pushed me over and called me a 'battyman' whatever that is. I just lay there on the floor sobbing until this horrible boy ran off. A kind lady helped me up.

I live in London, and I thought people would be more accepting of it. But this has caused my boyfriend of 2 years to dump me as he can't deal with a man in a skirt and says its 'sick'. images/shocked.gif I just want to be myself and your website is so great! It's made me think about if I am 'in the wrong body' and I spoke to my doctor about these feelings.

He wasnst overly keen, but he referred me to a surgeon in Thailand where I can complete my transformation into a woman. He warned me that alot of she-males commit suicide as they find its not for them in the end, but fuck it, I'll take that risk.

Thanks for helping me make this life-changing decision! images/grin.gif

Signed Max

(Soon to be Maxine, March 2k7!)

Dear Max
written by Steven on February 10, 2007

I'm glad you found out what you really wanted to be, I hope it is what you really want.

Unfortunately, this website is not about wanting to be female, it's about being a guy and having the ability and choice of wearing something other then trousers.

Good luck in your endeavor.

its funny
written by a guest on August 30, 2008

its funny how women have won the right to embrace thair male sides...but a vast majority wish to hold us back...payback is a bitch...but we will win in the end trust me..thoughts are changeing and fast

xdress realities
written by a guest on February 10, 2010

There are thousands of men who wear skirts and or dresses. They do not consider themselves to be crossdressers.
Why, it is because they are not trying to appear as a female. They don't take on the mannerisms associated with females, nor do they alter their voices, place false breasts upon their chests or even shave their legs or other body hair. They are actually somewhere in between that of a conventional male and a crossdresser. A lot of these men say the wearing of certain female apparel is for comfort. They state the comfort of a skirt or dress surpasses that of wearing shorts or pants on a hot summer day. Some give medical reasons varying from eczema to circulatory problems. This reason I have a tendency to believe in that I have bad legs and pantyhose or tights are a lot cheaper then the support hosiery for men or the embolism stockings. As far as weather conditions that arguement does hold water. A skirt does allow more air to circulate up and around the genitals, there is less chafing caused by wearing pants or shorts. As far as perspiration, that is debatable. The rate that a person sweats is determined by a whole host of factors, although I will concede that the area in question would remain somewhat dryer if exposed to the air.
So if a guy wants to wear a skirt or dress it doesn't mean he is a crossdresser as long as he doesn't place the facade of being female on the outside.

Womens (Mens) clothing
written by a guest on February 27, 2011

Most of womens clothes were initially designed for men in the first place. Men are just now really beginning to reclaim what was theirs. Women can wear Anything from a mans closet or underwear drawer. Now we are reclaiming what was once ours and society is having trouble with it. One would think that women would be most supportive - thinking what they went thru just to be able to wear trowsers. Most seem not to be. I love womens panties and skirts. I do Not present myself as a woman, just a man that happens to be wearing a skirt.

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